I composed a letter and sent it off to the ‘likely’ match my search angels gave me. I ran it past my natural mother friend and she gave it the thumbs up. I am going to be consumed with work in the coming week, so it will be good to distract me from obsessing. I figure she will get the letter Tuesday. Possible scenarios:
- She is not my mother. She has an incredulous chuckle, feels a bit sorry for me, and drops me an email to let me know it’s not her.
- She is my mother, but has hidden this from her family and does not want to connect for fear of exposing the truth to them. She might send me an email denying that she is my mother, or she might admit it and say not to contact her further. I think if this is the case the denial email would be different in tone from the one in scenario #1.
- She is my mother, but does not want to think about it. Radio silence.
- She is my mother, has hidden me from her family, but wants to contact in secret. We engage in a very slow clandestine relationship. Possibly at some point leading to revealing me to them.
- She is my mother and wants contact, whether she has already revealed my existence to her family or open to doing so.
I can’t think of any other potential situations than those, though there probably are more. I watched the mail truck take my letter away. Now we wait, again.
Wow, things have progressed quickly for you! Good luck with your letter! I had all these awful scenarios running through my head while waiting for my mother to respond and none of them turned out to be true. The waiting was the worse! I’m meeting her next weekend eek!
Good luck Marianne! I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts!
How long was it before she responded?
She didn’t receive any of my messages through Facebook so after that I sent a letter. She called about one week later but didn’t leave a message. I found out shortly after she called me she left on vacation to Nova Scotia. It took almost two months before we finally connected. If I had sent the letter first I think I would have spoken to her much sooner. My bio mother did tell me that she was relieved that I didn’t answer the phone when she initially called me because she didn’t know what to say so it might take a few days for your mother to process everything.
Yes, I was warned by several people not to rely on Facebook for communication so I went straight to the letter. The other option – cold calling – didn’t seem like something I could do (well) and I felt like a letter would be the most fair to give her some time to process before replying. One of the adoptees I met last week said her mother took 8 months to respond. Yikes, I don’t know how long I could ‘hang’ just wondering, but I don’t think it could be 8 months. Good luck Marianne, I’m so excited for you that you are going to meet! Please share what you can when you can!