A note about naming conventions. There is an awkward mincing around the terms used to describe the people involved in the ‘adoption constellation’. Everyone has their own reasons for using whatever terms they prefer and I have no vested interest in dictating anyone else’s terminology, but as a matter of clarification to readers of these essays I will be referring to my biological mother as my mother. My adoptive mother is also my mother and I intend no disrespect to her or disregard for her love for me, mine for her, or her loving parenting of me. This is surely simplified in my case by the sad fact that she is deceased, and so clearly any reference to my mother in an active relationship refers to my biological mother. Same goes for my fathers, though sadly my biological father is also deceased. I have two mothers and two fathers. If there is a moment where I need to clarify which mother or father I am discussing I will add an appropriate designation. To use those designations in every case of reference feels stilted to me, and also seems to imply a kind of belligerence, whichever person is being described, that I simply do not feel.